60 Ways To Seriously Annoy Draco Malfoy
by snowyclara
Summary: A mysterious girl called Loki has recruited the Golden Trio and friends to carry out a list that she has found. Their victim? Draco Malfoy.
1. Chapter 1

_1. Have Dobby send him a love note._

"Hey, Harry! Check this out!" a girl with long black hair shouted at the Gryffindor table. He walked over with Ron and Hermione behind him, worried looks on their faces.

"Why do three look like I just gave you a death sentence?" she asked, an eyebrow arched.

"What? No we don't!" Harry cried.

"Yeah you do, but anyways, look at this little list I just found," she said and then she handed him a list with the title of: _60 Ways to Seriously Annoy Draco Malfoy._

"Where did you find this?" he asked, doubled over in laughter at #56.

The mystery girl smirked.

"Call me Loki."

"Alright then Loki, what do you want us for?" Hermione asked, reading the list over Ron's shoulder.

"I'll need assistance with some of this and I'll also need back-up at times so I don't get expelled, alright?" Loki said, taking the list back from Ron.

"What's in it for us?" Harry asked, glancing at the Slytherin table. Loki laughed.

"The enjoyment of wreaking havoc on the boy's life, subjecting him to public humiliation, the list goes on and on."

"Alright then, you got yourself a deal!" Ron announced and he rushed over to shake the girl's hand, Harry and Hermione followed suit, but Hermione did so with great hesitance.

"I do NOT like #11 Loki," she said frowning.

"Don't worry; I'll make it worth the horror of it 'kay?" Loki replied smiling.

"Okay, but it better be worth it," Hermione grumbled.

"So, what's #1?" Ron asked enthusiastically.

"It says to... have Dobby send him a love note," Loki said, smiling.

"Oh, this is going to be fun!" Harry said laughing.

"Hermione, some parchment please?" Loki asked.

"Here you go," Hermione said, giving Loki the supplies.

"Alright... it has to be good... I got it!" and Loki started to write the love note.

"Finished!" she cried, holding up the parchment triumphantly.

"Let us read it!" Hermione squealed.

"It's a masterpiece if I do say so myself," Loki said, watching them read the letter.

"It's- it's," Harry said, at a loss for words.

"BLOODY BRILLIANT!" Ron roared.

"So we all agree that we'll be using this letter?" Loki asked.

"Yes!" the three cried out in unison.

"Dobby, we need you," Harry whisper-shouted.

There was a _POP! _and there was Dobby.

"You called Dobby?" he squeaked.

"Yes Dobby, now here's what we want you to do..."

~X~

_POP!_

"This is addressed to a Mr. Draco Malfoy!" Dobby cried out on the Slytherin table at dinner.

"I'm over here you stupid elf!" the blond boy snarled.

POP went Dobby and he was standing in front of Draco on the table.

"Dobby was told to give you this very important letter! Good day sir!" and POP Dobby went, appearing under the table next to Loki, Hermione, Harry, and Ron.

They watched as Malfoy read the letter, his eyes widened as he read and when he was finished, he stared at the signature, then he stood up and roared,

"DOBBY!"

But the little elf stayed next to Loki and the Golden Trio who were trying very hard not to laugh.

"DOBBY! GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW!" Malfoy screamed; the little elf smiled from underneath the table.

"What on earth are you yelling about Mr. Malfoy? Detention for disturbing the peace!" Professor McGonagall cried, Malfoy was livid.

"But Professor! Look at this!" he cried, waving the parchment around. She marched over to Malfoy and took the parchment, when she read it, her mouth thinned and she said,

"Another detention Mr. Malfoy and 10 points from Slytherin," and then she stormed off.

"What?" Malfoy looked down at the paper and he stared at it, open-mouthed.

Instead of the love note, it now said, 'I think Professor McGonagall is an old hag' in his handwriting.

He took his wand out and muttered Incendio, the parchment caught fire and then he stormed out of the Great Hall.

The Golden Trio looked at Loki.

"What was with the point loss? Not that I'm complaining or anything," Ron asked.

Loki smirked.

"I may have charmed the paper to say different things to different people."

"What did it say?" Harry asked grinning.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," and then she walked out of the Great Hall humming a tune.

**So that was #1 on the list! I got the list from somewhere on the internet, I'm not entirely sure where and this idea was inspired by _Daydreamkid_'s 83 Ways to Annoy the Dursleys(fabulous story by the way, highly recommended. See my favorite authors and click on_ Daydreamkid_, it's at the top of their stories list!)**


	2. Chapter 2

_2. Call him Mudblood_

"So, what's second on the list?" Ron asked Loki as he sat down next to Harry at breakfast.

"Let me look…" the girl said as she pulled a piece of parchment out of her bag.

"Number 2… call him a- oh dear sweet Merlin," Loki said as she stared at the parchment.

"What is it?" Hermione asked as she looked up from her Charms book.

"Well… it's a rather… offending word to some. And, while his reaction will be priceless, I'm not sure if-"

"Oh quit rambling Loki and tell us," Ron said as he piled food onto his plate.

"It says to call him a mudblood," she said quietly.

The trio froze, and turned towards Loki.

"Let me see that list Loki," Hermione said calmly. Loki wordlessly handed the list over.

Hermione read #2, handed the list back to Loki, and marched out of the Great Hall.

The remaining three glanced at each other, promptly grabbed their bags and sprinted after Hermione.

The three hid behind a giant tree close to where Malfoy and his cronies were lounging; Hermione was already talking to them.

"…honestly I don't know why I didn't see it before Malfoy-"

"Do us all a favor and shut up Granger," Malfoy drawled.

Hermione gave him a look of utmost contempt.

"Well then, I won't bother you and your idiotic little friends anymore, you disgusting little mudblood," and she then turned on her heel and marched away, nose in the air.

Malfoy looked like a goldfish, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly.

"Me? A mu- she dares to- why I- father will- of all the- AGHHHH!"

And he ran off, screaming like a madman.

He didn't even notice four Gryffindors rolling in the grass, laughing their heads off.

**Wasn't exactly sure how to pull this one off, but I think I got the point across. ;)**


End file.
